A warning to any of my former colleagues who are slaving away in an an office for 18 hours a day: you may find the following depiction of a lady of leisure to be disturbing. Very disturbing.
In this episode of the Real Housewives of Uluru (well, technically trailer-wife – because I don’t have a house, and there is only one of me – I haven’t found a pack of other RHO-U) I have more spare time than I have ever had. What does a recovering lawyer, who is exceedingly dull due to never having had time for hobbies, do with all these hours of glorious sunshine?
Most tourists seem to come to Uluru for three or four days. For the time poor and cash rich, this place has a lot to offer, and many expensive activities to cram into a short period. Field of lights, fine dining under the stars, helicopter flights, segway tours, patting reptiles – etc, $$$.
Apparently these are all incredible. We have done none of them.
[Well, except for the Harley rides around the rock. This I highly recommend. Ask for Sam at Uluru Motorcycle Tours. And be sure to give him a massive tip (or wine…we really need wine).]
These fabulous activities don’t really suit the budget of homeless, temporarily employed layabouts like us. So for the time rich and cash poor, we have found economical alternatives.
Our dune of lights
Fine cooking – camp fire style
Getting paid to ride Harleys – and giving the kids the occasional spin around the campground.
Free reptile sightings – around the campground, in the school yard, on the walk to the shops
And we’re making the most of these freebies too.
What do you do for fun? What are your hobbies?
With the hubby “working” (is getting paid to ride motorbikes really working?), and all the kids at school, I have Six. Whole. Hours. Every. Day. to fill. With what? I have spent the last decade working like a demon and pro-creating. I spent the decade before that being a complete nerd and studying my arse off, usually with several part-time jobs on the go. One of the questions I used to dread was – what do you do in your spare time? What spare time – you mean between 1am and 5am? Well, I tried to block that out for sleeping – not always successfully.
Keen bean young summer clerk candidates would sometimes try to build rapport in interviews and ask – what do you do outside of work? What are your hobbies? I had no answer to this. Er, is drinking a hobby? Sometimes I did say that (because it’s true) – until HR told me I had to stop. Usually I would say something along the lines of “I am an M&A lawyer with three young kids. You think I have time for fun?” That would shut them up. And terrify them appropriately.
So on top of being poorly qualified to find a job outside the corporate circles of Sydney, it seems I am also poorly qualified to be a lady of leisure.
But I am a quick learner. And I have diligently applied myself to the task of being neither busy nor important. I can do it – I have a pool, endless sunshine, a hammock, a library full of chick lit, loads of rocks to wander around and a shack to keep rodent free*.
I got this.
First a pedicure, tea and some mindfulness – thanks fam for the birthday gift spa voucher
Then taking pics of my pedicured feet doing all sorts of leisurely leisures (and btw – this is not a tan. It is the layer of outback dirt I just cannot manage to scrub off)
It’s fair to say I am operating at a different pace these days.
And if I ever start to feel the slightest bit bored, I just have to send a text to my lawyer friends and ask what they are doing. There’s nothing like hearing about sleep deprivation, drafting share purchase agreements, writing board minutes, and general office dramas to snap me back into delight at putting my feet up for a while.
I definitely prefer this to the alternative. (Though I do miss Friday night drinks – team, I don’t want to hear about work, but feel free to drunkenly face time me from Mordeo anytime).
And then I got a job
Believe me – I didn’t go looking for it. In fact I had talked myself out of being suitable for any employment whatsoever. Until the hubby mentioned to his bosses how much leisure time I had at my disposal and they took pity on me. Why? Why?? It’s not pitiful, it’s delightful! It’s glorious! See my feet??
But anyway, turns out they need a hand with bookings and think I scrub up well enough to present to the public (And why wouldn’t they, I did wear my best stretchy shorts, singlet and thongs combo for the interview. I even brushed my hair). So I am going to be a biker chick – of the office variety – during school hours. Not a bad gig for a no-useful-skills-layabout. And still lots of time for sunshine and the hammock.
*PS – an update on the rodent situation. I don’t want to jinx it, but I think having six hours a day to devote to mouse repelling, has paid off. Not a squeak for a week. I may have also spent every cent the hubby has earned since we have been here on peppermint oil and mouse traps. #Worthit.